Birth Day
December 13th, 2008
Ahh the birthday.
I am not really one to celebrate much on my birthday. The reality remains you are only a day older than you were the day before…when nothing felt different and then you wake up and nothing has changed still.
Anti-climactic at best.
But this year as the clock counted down the minutes till midnight I felt a real sense of excitement. Could this year be the one… where I find my wife, strike it rich, climb everest or die? Will my life next year take on the meaning I’ve been hoping it will have? Will I mature enough to give up my bad habits and man enough to admit that it needs to happen in the first place?
10 years ago I stood at the head of my synagogue proclaimed a man. I hardly know what that means today. Habits and habitual progression have aged me, experiences have made me rich and bankrupted me alike, friends lost, friends gained and here I am the same scared boy I was on that pedastal so many years ago.
So hopefully this year… this year will be the year. If not… theres always next year.
Written by Zac |
One Response to “Birth Day”
By mich on Dec 15, 2008
Some guy once told me that if you don’t constantly work on developing a better version of yourself, you’re as good as dead. Ok, so can I die in peace or do I always have to be reminded of my inability to evolve from my comfortable plushy world, however empty or worthy of change others might deem it to be?
We live in a world where its more than easy to let time slide on by and be numb, we can literally coast through life, but nope. Were constantly reminded on our birthday, high holidays, anniversarys that the clock is ticking and we are forced to stand back (maybe even stop) for a minute and evaluate ourselves, our actions and our position in life…sometimes it just all makes you want to scream. Or hide, like a child under the covers who just wants the monsters to go away. Can we choose to live our own lives or are we forced by religion, hallmark or whatever that we constantly have to evolve for the better. Is life always going to be a series of tests that push personal boundaries, are we always going to have something to work towards - marriage, kids, retirement…does it ever end? I guess yea it ends when you die, but then did we live? I guess that depends on everyones personal definition of living. If this is the year when you become a man, find your wife, strike it rich then great. But then you will be plagued with the disease of needing more, hoping for more, for next years wish list to come true. Why cant we be content with where we are now, no matter how little we have, how immoral we are. I get it, life is about personal development, changing, maturing blah blah - but I feel like coasting.
I probably don’t make sense, but then again what does?
Life doesn’t make sense.
Happy birthday.